2) Whoever read this writing pray for Japan, my dear native land !!!
I would ask the Pastor Jurino to bury me in Milan and send this writing to Hon. Alpheus Hardy 4th Joy Street, Boston, Mass., U. S. A., as he & his wife have been my benefactors these 20 years. May the Lord give them ample rewards both now & hereafter. Send a telegram to Mr. Hardy at once. Please cut & send a little portion of my hair to my dear wife and aged parents in Kioto, Japan as token of the unseparable bond of union in Christ. My plan for Japan will be defeated. But thanks be to the Lord that He has done so much for Japan. I trust He will yet do the wonderful work there. May the Lord raise up many true Xns & noble Patriots for my dear fatherland! Amen & Amen
(The following is a cover letter which Neesima wrote to go along with the will he wrote when he believed he might be dying while traveling in Switzerland.)
Memorandum Lucerne August 9th, 1884I wrote these enclosed papers at Hotel du Mont Prosa sur le St. Gothard on the 6th inst, when I was greatly troubled with a most distressing heart disease there. I felt something quite wrong in my breathing then, just a mile before I reached the pass. I requested a German gentleman who accompanied me that morning, to leave me behind because I could not keep up my going with him. Accordingly he went on and I was left behind. I stopped to take my breath every ten yards. But after a great struggle, I reached the Hotel in the pass. After resting a while I took my dinner, but found my appetite very bad, and I began to cough some too. After resting on a sofa for some time I felt myself growing worse and worse, and asked for a doctor but there was none. I took a table spoonful of brandy to prevent my chill, and also put a mustard paste on my chest; and afterward put one on my neck for my headache.
About this time I began to think that it might possibly be the Lord's will to take me away from this changeable world to that unchangeable and glorious one. At this moment my thought for Japan, my plan for enforcing the mission work, my constant day dream to found a Christian University, my tender feeling for my wife and parents, my grateful feeling toward Mr. and Mrs. Hardy came up at once like a volcanic fire.
Still above all these feelings I believe I perfectly resigned myself to the Hand of my Heavenly Father and asked Him repeatedly to receive my soul to His bosom if it be His will. While I was suffering from a most distressed feeling in my chest, how happy and how thankful I was for the Father's kind care over me, and especially for his forgiving grace manifested through his son Jesus Christ.
So I got up in bed and wrote the enclosed Will on 2 drawing papers I had then which were taken with me for sketching. While I was writing that I almost fainted away. Towards evening I began to feel [a] little better. I took a cup of tea and a little piece of bread. I slept quite well. On the following morning I found myself little better, but had not strength to start back for Andermatt. I hired a carriage from Airolo 12 kilometers from the pass and returned to Andermatt about the dinner time. I rested at the latter place quietly that afternoon. Desiring to see a doctor, I started from that place for Lucerne on the 8th. At Fluelen I took a steamer to cross the lake and reached Lucerne [a] little after 12--stopped one night at the Hotel White Cross and came to the Pension Madame Kost Halflizer this noon. My chest was examined by Dr. Otto Stocker Kappellplatz No. 315. My heart was [a] little out of sound state, and I was warned by him to keep myself quiet for a few days.
I desire to keep these papers, because I had then a most unparalleled feeling I ever felt in my past life. Since then I feel more and more my life is not for me. Whether I live or die I must either live or die for Christ. May the Lord ever keep this sinwounded soul under His protecting Hand and count me as a least one in His Kingdom through the Righteousness of Jesus Christ.
His most unworthy servant
Joseph H. Neesima