Summer 1867
I study Latin every forenoon, and exercise myself every after-
noon in elocution, walking by the sea. In the evening I read the
memoirs of Rev. Henry Martyn. It kindles my cold heart, and
lowers my pride into humiliation. My faith and love to God and
my fellowmen seemed me so faint that I could hardly perceive them.
I am comforted by the words, "Be of good cheer. Thy sins are
forgiven thee." While I was walking by the side of that boundless
ocean I recalled also, "Deep calleth unto deep," and I said within
myself that though my sins are deep they would by no means exhaust
the deep of God's love. Then I thanked God that my face was
turned neither back nor to the sides, but forward. Afterwards
I found myself very foolish and ignorant, saying: "How could I pro-
mote his kingdom to my heathen friends, seeing I am so foolish and
ignorant?" It seemed me the Lord answered: "I will be thy master
and teach thee my way." It is very strange that with such desire
I find also evil powers in me very forcible.This is hottest day of the year. But in my walkings I do not suffer much heat because of love of nature.
I was very weary this morning. Evil powers in my heart tempted me to stay at home, saying it would not be sin if you kept your heart right; you can read and praise and pray just well as in the church. I said, "No, no." Evil powers came in afternoon in like manner, saying, "You are most too tired; you would not get much benefit because your head is drowsy." I replied also, "No, no, I will not miss the service unless I be too sick."